You Shouldn't Believe Every Thought You Think.

Over more than a decade as a portrait photographer, I had a front-row seat to something that completely changed the direction of my work.

I photographed women who were raising families, running businesses, caring for parents, leading teams, supporting partners, volunteering in their communities, and somehow keeping a thousand moving pieces in the air at once.

These were capable, resourceful women. Women other people depended on.

Then, when we were on a consult call for their shoot, I'd hear some version of the same story again and again. They wanted to lose weight before their photos, they worried they had aged, hated being in front of the camera, or didn't think they were photogenic.

Mainly, they felt uncomfortable being seen.

At first, I thought I was hearing insecurity. Over time, I realized I was witnessing something much bigger.

These women were carrying entire worlds on their shoulders. Their families depended on them. Their clients depended on them. Their communities depended on them.

Yet many struggled to separate the skewed way they’d been taught to see themselves from the vibrant, powerful life force they actually were.
That contradiction fascinated me. How could someone be so clearly capable, important, and impactful while simultaneously feeling like she wasn't enough?

That question stayed with me and eventually became the foundation of my coaching work.

The more women I photographed, the more I realized this wasn't really about appearance. It was about the stories women had absorbed about their worth, visibility, desirability, value, and place in the world.

Many of those stories had been around for so long they felt permanent, like the truth.

And that's where things get interesting.

Many of the thoughts we call "the truth" started as someone else's opinion, delivered as an off-the-cuff comment, a cultural belief, or a family belief. Add to that experiences that hurt and moments carrying shame.

So many of these beliefs get planted in moments of shame. Then we spend years organizing our lives around avoiding that feeling again.

The same thing happens with money.

We absorb ideas about what's possible for us. We absorb ideas about what success looks like, who gets to have it, how difficult it should be to achieve, and whether wanting more is admirable or excessive. ⟵ This.

Over time, those ideas settle in. Then we repeat them until they become our reality.

One of the most powerful things I've learned about the brain is that familiarity carries enormous influence.

When we think the same thought often enough, our brains become efficient at finding evidence for it. We begin noticing the information that supports it and overlooking the information that challenges it.

Eventually, the thought feels obvious.

Of course I'm not good with money.

Of course success is hard.

Of course other people can do that, but not me.

Of course this is just the way life works.

At that point, we're rarely questioning the thought itself. We're living inside it.

That's why awareness can feel so powerful. The moment you realize a belief is a just belief and not the truth, you gain a little space.

Space to become curious, ask questions, and wonder whether the story you've been living inside is the only story available.

I don't think meaningful change begins with replacing every negative thought with a positive one. I think it begins with curiosity.

Curiosity invites us to look again. It slows things down enough for us to notice what we've been assuming is true and ask whether that story still deserves to be running the show.

Some of the most emotional moments I experienced as a photographer happened when a woman saw her images and realized she had been looking at herself through someone else's lens for years.

For a moment, she could see herself differently. Almost from an outsider's point of view, she could finally see the depth of what makes her her: her warmth, intelligence, humor, strength, and presence.

Money work often follows a similar path.

Before we can create something different, we have to become aware of the stories helping create our current experience. Awareness gives us choices, and choices create possibility.

Many of the stories running our lives were inherited or absorbed without our permission. Many have simply been practiced for a very long time.

This is one of the reasons I love teaching Break Up With Broke and Rethinking Manifestation together.

Break Up With Broke helps you identify the beliefs and patterns shaping your relationship with money.

Rethinking Manifestation explores how creating a different life is far less mysterious than most people think. We look at how desire, attention, identity, emotion, and action work together to create change.
One helps you understand where you are. The other helps you understand how to move toward where you want to go.
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The beautiful thing about practiced stories is that they can be practiced differently.

And that possibility is where a bigger life begins.

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